Drinks Like a Fish
This is just slightly better. The owner of the Aquaholic is at least open about his addiction, which is the first step toward treatment. An addiction to anything may be dangerous, and spending too much time boating can be harmful, as well as more expensive than anything else purchased from a shady man in a van. At the very least, the similarities are beginning to emerge. You may lose friends and even teeth (if you’re that awful at steering your boat), but at least you can come up with a hilarious name for it.
No Need to Dig a Tunnel
The Great Escape, a famous film set in a World War II POW camp, stars Steve McQueen, Donald Pleasence, Charles Bronson, and a slew of other big names. It was a triumph, which could explain why the owner named his boat after the film. In the video, the POWs try a variety of escape strategies to get away from their German captors, but this one appears to be unique. All you have to do is hop onboard and start the engine—no digging, motorcycles, or German knowledge required. Still seems really good.